imploding or plain self destruction?

I have been reading and commenting in another's blog, the person is having an apparent struggle with memories of an affair they had.

When I used to be an active first-aider, one of the first things we were taught is "move the patient from the danger, or move the danger from the patient" . To a point they have done this physically they changed jobs, the other party being a worker at that place. However mentally they are still there, they by their own statements dwell on it day and night.

I know they have other issues to deal with but that's the main stumbling block as I see it. They say their wife hates them, I don't think she hates him per se, I think she hates the guy he has become, or is becoming.

Change is hard and forgiveness even harder, but without a deliberate and concerted effort together the other woman out of ones mind and a total and unreserved forgiveness from both parties in this marriage, I cannot see it going anywhere but down.

We in our marriage have had our ups and downs too, we have come close to breaking up on a couple of occasions due to various issues, but we survived them and in the surviving grew stronger together.

I know the required change is gonna be painful, almost like major surgery without an anesthetic, but it must be done if there is to be a chance for survival here.

Otherwise all I can see is an implosion.